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Scream Queens/Season One/Episode One
episode one Sneak Peek Intro Jessica Liek ascends from the heavens JESSICA: hi JESSICA: so i guess were doing this JESSICA: my name is jessica liek and i am THE scream queen, shawnee who shawnees a fucking hack JESSICA: in this season of scream queens, eight aspiring young (well some of them anyways) actresses will compete to show up in 0.000000001 seconds of scream princesses 7: return of the frog lady JESSICA: there will be drama insert clip of people hitting each other JESSICA: there will be romance insert clip of hoes making out in the jaccuzzi JESSICA: there will be a lot of john homa blowjobs insert clip of some bitch blowing john homa JESSICA: but who will be the final girl... the scREAM QUEEN Part One The eight whores enter the mansion as Vroom Vroom by Charli XCX plays MARIAH IC: im so excited to have been blessed with this opportunity, this is my first acting gig since the pornos They all go to the living room where they meet the three judges JESSICA: hi girls GIRLS: hi JESSICA: '''cut next take '''JESSICA: hi girls GIRLS: OH MY GOD ITS JESSICA LIEK DHJSHUIHUIFHEUIEI LEGEND TALENTED BRILLIANT AMAZING SHOWSTOPPING UNIQUE NEVER THE SAME UNAFRAID TO REFERENCE OR NOT REFERENCE JESSICA: thats more like it JESSICA: so yall know what you came here to do but you dont know who the judges are so lets get into that i guess? JESSICA: noted acting coach john homa JOHN: i have a reputation for making people cry... and also reviewing this record and by record i mean vaJOINA JESSICA: and lizzie the small indie director whos gonna guide you through the directors challenges LIZZIE: hey girls fuck off STEFANI: same JESSICA: ok so for your first acting challenge- JESSICA: oh wait... i almost forgot... JESSICA: '''there are only eight of you '''KIANA: well duh JESSICA: someones missing JESSICA: OH RIGHT JESSICA: please say hello to returning contestant from s1 of scream queens... KIRSTEN: OH MY GOD WHO IS SHSEHEJBEI I CANT BREATHE TELL ME WHO SHE IS JESSICA: calm down sweaty JESSICA: she is back! it's- The contestant struts down in gucci flip flops JESSICA: jo-anne from s1! JO-ANNE IC: hi cunts i bet yall never saw me coming JO-ANNE IC: im back to show these bitches that i still got it Suddenly a huge pendulum flies by and it kills Jo-Anne JESSICA: oh JESSICA: well anyways JESSICA: '''for your first acting challenge we will rip off the first seasons acting challenge and do the "try not to convince homicidal murderer to kill you" challenge '''JOCELYN: me JOCELYN IC: having no acting experience whatsoever could make a bitch nervous but im confident in my talent and in my winner edit The girls all go to another living room with Jessica and John JOHN: ok so first up kirsten KIRSTEN: wha- JOHN: its your turn KIRSTEN: WHAT WHA THT EFUCK WHY AM I THE FIRS TONE WHATHJBUIGRHI IM NOT READYYDYD KIRSTEN: AAA ok lets go STEFANI: we- KIRSTEN: SHUT UP THIS IS MY MOMENT Kirsten turns to the homicidal murderer KIRSTEN: pLEASE DONT KILL ME UIUIREHUIRIUUIGUI OPELPOASJIO PLEASE SIS WHAT DI DI DO WRONG OMG STOP POINTING THAT CHAINSAW AT ME WTF SIS WHAT HELP PROTECT ME URHG ERICA IC: what the fuck is this tomfoolery... wow im really not gonna have any competition John cuts Kirsten KIRSTEN: did i win? JOHN: just... sit... down KIRSTEN IC: im really confident in my acting efforts JOHN: next up its caroline Caroline acts but no one notices her bc they all fall asleep CAROLINE: 'erm- ''k im bored this was a sneak peek that ill finish later (but probably not) ''in the meantime im plugging my new show diva starz, diva starz is a show about a sorority that is plagued by a bunch of-'' '''STEFANI: no were not doing this sweaty